It's simply awful, lonely, quiet, still . . . all those familiar sounds are gone, those routines are in shambles and there's no reason to go for a walk any more. I cannot imagine walking on my own up on the Moor or along a beach or coastal path. The aching lump in my chest is physically painful and I burst into tears without warning. Even when I'm not crying, my eyes leak . . it's as though the grief has to come out in some way. I miss his presence so much and the house feels empty; I hate opening the door to come in, still waiting for the scramble as he comes to greet me, so happy that I'm back even if I've only been gone for 5 minutes. I miss those gorgeous golden eyes looking into mine and telling me so much. I miss our conversations; I miss feeling his head on my feet, stroking his fur, I just MISS him so much.
No apologies for sounding so negative and sorry for myself because I'm afraid I am.